Blogrolling is back.

Yeay!

I'm back. Maybe. Who knows?

I sure don't.

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Let's talk about something.

How about people?
We haven't done that in quite a while.
The Holier Than Thou attitude is probably still around. Probably.




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So I say but it does get old pretty quick, doesn't it?

My mind is an empty fishing net, and I'm plankton-hunting.

I need a piano.

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Life's pretty funny.

For a very big part of my life, I have always considered time as one of my biggest enemy.

Time, never enough for me.
I seem to spend the days with shorter hours as I find more and more things to do. Things that urgently require my undivided attention. A bit impossible to achieve when you only have 8 hours in a day. Not meant to be taken literally but I hope you have enough mental capacity to understand what I'm trying to say.

Time, never right for me.
Yup. Me and time, we have a working relationship. Actually, it's more of a NOT-WORKING-AT-ALL-SO-WHY-ARE-WE-TRYING kind of relationship. I used to think I have everything planned out. All that was left to do is just wait for it to happen. It never happened because I was waiting for the right circumstances.

It's just wrong that way.

It'll never work because you have to make it happen. Somehow. One way or another.

It sometimes feels like being a bad sniper. Target in my sights, and yet, I can't even graze the paint chip off the wall behind him. If it wasn't for physics, I probably still can't hit the ground. Feels like something amiss, and when you spend some time thinking about it, it's because you were waiting for the right conditions. You can't really expect things to work out on its own... right?

Time, never kind to me.
I look in the mirror and I see wrinkles under my eyes. I used to think they were just eyebags from lack of sleep but time has once again proven that it has the one-upper on me. I look at my body and see that I have lost quite some muscles. I may still be thin, but I am not as lean. Time is dragging my body down, and I am finally starting to see its effects. Seeing a white clump of hair fall off my head during my last haircut certainly didn't help.

I just don't like this aging thing. Never did. I'm hitting the third decade soon enough and I still can't come to terms with myself. I had everything planned right. So what happened?

It's even worse as you see everyone else around you getting dragged down by that aging effect. What used to be easy like climbing up a flight of stairs soon turn into a mini hell for some.  I see people struggle with their newfound weaknesses and think, it'll be me next.

Let's not even talk about dreams.

Time, never ending.
You grow older, not-necessarily-wiser but definitely less angsty and do you have to say about life?

Nothing.

It's like watching reruns of Mr.Bean on TV.

You've seen it so many times but every time you watch an episode is like watching it for the first time. You think you would have been better. You think you know what's going to happen next. Of course it doesn't because time likes to do that to you. Makes you think that you are in control, and WHAM!

Time lets you know who's the boss.


Time has never been kind to me, so why should I be kind to Time, indeed?


Maybe because there's nothing left to choose.



And there is nothing more reassuring than the illusion of choice.